JB gets the nod

In a move that didn't suprise too many hollywood insiders, the Oscar nominations were announced today and as expected JB got the nod for his role in "Inglorious Bunnies", the Carrotino film.
Nominated in the best supporting bunny in a non-carrot based role JB is expected to easily walk away with the oscar in 30 days time.
This is the first time that a single person could get both an oscar and a grammy in the same year - JB got best single of the year for his duet with Bunnyonce titled "All the Single Bunnies".
In a further developement, there were no nominations for Biff or Arnold for "this is not it", which was released to Bear-Ray this week.

Hope for JB Telethon

In a press conference from Los Angeles CA, superstars Bunny Pitt and Carrot Clooney reported that as a result of last week's Hope for JB Telethon, a grand total of $59 was raised.
"Everyone gave so freely, both us superstars and you nobody's. After kickbacks, greasing of palms and payoffs to local teamsters 45, we estimate 27 cents will actually go to JB relief. He has been asking for some Haemorrhoid cream and we hope to be able to come through on this one."

In an unrelated story $59 was reported missing from Steveo's wallet.

25th Anniversary revelation..

On the 25th anniversary of the we are the world recording, archive footage has just been released of the entire cast, that clearly shows JB on the right hand side in the front row.
There was a massive cover up to keep Jb out, Springsteen said it's me or that Bunny, but not both of us.
Quincy Jones according to sources was under a lot of pressure and photoshopped JB out, but is happy now that the truth is out. "It was one of the biggest mistakes of my professional career, but JB did a great solo back in 85, and I am glad that he will be a part of the remake".
According to well placed sources JB will be the only member of the original cast to sing in both versions.

Does care package arrive in time?

Witnesses say that when one of the cd's contained in the latest care package, The Friendly Fires, was played, they saw Jb's right paw tap to the music. Other vital signs were unchanged, but "I saw the right paw move, I saw it", said an emotional Mr. Squirrel.

In an unrelated story President Shelley has said there will be no bunnycare on my watch. "Those freeloaders will just have to get a job with health insurance like the rest of us". An aide was seen whispering to Shelley that he his got bunny insurance even when he had no official job, courtesy of the JB Bunnycare for all foundation.

Carrot Transfusion

Jb in an act of desperation consulted mr.duck, who after another series of tests immediately put Jb on an IV of carrot juice.
"2003 was a great year for carrot juice so we put jb on a vintage carrot juice from 03".
Jb who hadn't been heard from in days was rumoured to have said "I can see why they say he is a quack, but you can't argue with his results". Mr Duck celebrity doctor to the stars is credited with getting kirsty alley down to only a single bucket of kfc per day, "no mean feat".

In an unrelated story, it is rumored that JB hasn't trimmed his carrot whiskers in days, "he's gone howard hughes on us', close sources tell us.

In another unrelated story, shares in carrot juice maker V8 plummeted after rumors that Shelley intends to cancel the 'carrot juice for toddlers program' that runs in all public schools. Shelley is quoted as saying "it isn't, got carrot juice, it's got milk people"

In celebrity news, Conan O'brien has applied to be chief of staff in the Shelley administration. "I've always liked his ideas, particularly taking out all those carrot lobbyists; this is something I need to part of." When questioned that there are rumours that JB maybe back soon, Coco said "if i can last longer than I did at nbc, that's all I care about".

End of an Era

President Shelley announced a number of changes that he hopes will erase JB from the history books. These include:

• Removal of the statue of JB on mount Bunnymore (image shown on left)
  
• Removal of JB's image from the back of the $1000 bill
• Renaming of this blog to Shelley's blog.

In an unrelated story JB is taking the tabloid show TMZ to court over pictures it published of a thermometer up his butt. Bunny Physician, Felix, was unreachable for comment.